I am a bit of a junkie when it comes to the Harvard Study of Adult Development. If you aren't familiar with it, you can check out Dr. Robert Waldinger's TED Talk on it to get more background. But the net-net is that, for nearly 80 years, the research team at Harvard has been tracking the lives of a group of men who came from all walks of life, to see how their lives unfolded — and ultimately, what led to a happy, satisfying life. As it turns out, the answer is actually pretty simple:
This weekend I watched this play out twice.
First, on Saturday, with my father's belated 75th birthday + post-pacemaker celebration. We had family, and long-time friends, some of whom we haven't seen in years join us to celebrate. And aside from the fun and novelty of catching up, there is also an incredible sense of grounding that comes with reconnecting with someone who knew you 'way back when.' I watched so many of us experience it over the course of the day, while I recognized it in my self all afternoon.
Second, on Sunday, with a group of my friends who all used to work together about 20 years ago. We've all gone in different directions, and do different things. We have different partners, and live in different cities. But as I listened to people talk, and laugh, and catch up, I was struck with an overwhelming sense of gratitude: the job that originally connected us all was just a job. One of many. The fact that it's been such a huge source of meaning and friendship in my life was never something anyone could or would have predicted.
In the Harvard study, one of the early themes was that many of the participants began the study convinced that wealth, fame and high-achievement were the keys to a happy life. Hubris of youth, I guess, since that's a theme repeated in each new generation.
Part of what is so great about being old enough to know better is realizing that our best, and most amazing joys in life often come from the most unexpected sources. And knowing enough to stop and be grateful for it. I hope your weekend also gave you at least a moment or two of something to be grateful for.
In the meantime, I wish you all a fantastic week and hope that whatever trouble you get yourself into, it's with someone who can turn it into a great story over a bottle of wine after it's all over.
